Tornados

This Louisiana girl is a North Carolina transplant. Louisiana's got better food, hotter weather, larger bugs, and violent storms. Last night I had this dream that took place in NC. We had 6 tornados in one day, and no matter where I went I was in the tornado's direct path. It looked like one of the last scenes from the movie "Twister," where Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton are tied down and the tornado is swirling over and around them.

For the first tornado I was in the woods with my sister. We jumped off of a small embankment because if you're outside during a tornado you should get to the lowest ground; usually a ditch if you're in Louisiana. Rachel was having a hard time holding onto the tree trunk we wrapped our arms around so I climbed on top of her and shielded her with my body. We made it and were back in civilization whent the next tornado hit. I couldn't get to Rachel and she ended up being killed by the tornado. For the fourth there were lots of people around. I saw my mom across the way with her oxygen machine and had the realization that she wouldn't be able to hold on.

I'm sure this is representative of my family situation. My sister is so out of control with booze and drugs that I can't imagine her body being able to withstand much more. My mom is suffering from end stage Emphasyma. I figure the dream was my mind's way of telling me I can't save them no matter how hard I try. I of course came to that conclusion a long time ago, but apparently my subconscious mind is not as willing to accept it.

Why

I keep a Myspace blog which keeps everyone up on what I'm doing, but I find that I censor it alot. I'm a private person and there are some things I just don't want being used for discussion among acquaintances and friends from real life. Another problem is that sometimes people from real life make me mad and I want to write about the situation, but then they'd read it and I'd be considered passive-aggressive, which isn't the reason I like to write things out. So, this will be my real blog; the one where I don't have to be shy because nobody from real life will likely happen upon this.