Patrick, mydad's partner was murdered. He'd been dead a week before we found out. I was worried that we hadn't heard from him, but Dad was more aggravated than concerned. Patrick had a tendency to disappear when things were rough, and he'd gotten some bad news the week before. Dad always told Patrick that he understood if he needed to be alone, but to please check in so we'd know he was at least okay. Dad said many times, "Something could happen to you and we'd never know it." Sure enough, that's exactly what happened.
We don't have much in the way of details. He apparently went down to do some work on a condo that he owns with another friends. Patrick and friends/family would buy up property, he'd decorate it (he was a very talented designer), then they'd turn it over for profit. Nobody knew he went there on Saturday, a few hours after we talked to him. His body was found Tuesday morning, his family was notified on Thursday afternoon and we found out Saturday morning. I had to leave town with the quintet five hours later. We had three shows in about a 22hr period, and those performances were the worst thing I ever had to do.
I loved Patrick. Alot. He was fun, loving, generous, silly, warm, sweet, and gentle. He made Dad's and my life so much richer. Even had I known all those years ago that this would be the end, that we'd have to go through this intense pain, I'd still have chosen to have had him in our lives. It was impossible not to love him and he brought so much joy to us. I can't imagine never seeing him again, never hugging him again. Patrick gave the best hugs. He'd always hold on just a little longer than normal, as if he didn't want to let you go too soon. But he did let us go too soon. Somebody forced him to when they hurt him. You know these people you see or read about, whose loved one was murdered and then they go on and on about how they're not angry at the perpetrator, they forgive him, or maybe they even love him (b/c of course that's what Jesus would do, right?)? Well I think they're full of shit. I'm so angry I wouldn't be able to control my actions if I got my hands on this bastard. They'd have to pull me off of him. How dare somebody hurt Patrick? They took him away from his four children and from us and from countless other friends and family. That is not okay and I hope this asshole pays for it, dearly. Life without parole would be great, and if that's what happens I hope he lives to be 125yrs old.
And what lousy timing, when the quintet is in the early days of a 6 week period of constant bookings. Not that the timing would ever be good for this, but I should be with Dad right now. I'm tired of never being with loved ones when they need me, and it's always because of the damn quintet. I don't think I'm cut out for this lifestyle because there's more important things than performing, and the message I'm getting from the instrumental performance world is, "No there's not." I disagree with the "show must go on" lifestyle. When someone you love like family is murdered you should be allowed to grieve and go home to be with others who loved that person. Me, I'm in a damn van on my way to do a three shows for a bunch of strangers. I've got to figure out what I'm going to do with all this. I'm 29yrs old and I'm a damn good trumpet player. All my education is centered around that and it's really the only skill I have, but I'm starting to have no appreciation for any of this. And you can't be a musician if you don't give a shit anymore, can you?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment